My Sexiest Apology

-My sexiest apologies for slacking off, again.-

Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context: Part VIII

-"Have you seen a duck's penis?"-

Go on, have a google image search. I know the curiosity is killing you.

Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context: Part VII

-"When The Candy Stick With Aniseed Flavour Goes Down Annie's Throat, She's In Paradise."-

When the candy stick
With anise flavor
Goes down Annie's throat
She is in heaven.
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/les-sucettes-lollipops.html#rxOYvylCO2FEG354.99

When the candy stick
With anise flavor
Goes down Annie's throat
She is in heaven.
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/les-sucettes-lollipops.html#rxOYvylCO2FEG354.99

Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context: Part VI

-"We Fuck Like Children."-

Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context: Part V

-"I'm Not A Fascist, But My Hairdresser Is."-

Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context: Part IV

-"It Was A Pussy Buffet."-

Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context: Part III

- "Munch on bro, munch on!"-

Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context: Part II

-"Punch The Hookers!"-

Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context: Part I

-"Vagina Gets Vagina!"-

Hey look at that, a new theme!

-"Amazing Things I've Heard Presented Out Of Context"-

You know when you're out sometimes, and you overhear something either completely amazing / hilarious / offensive depending on how much of the conversation / song / movie you were paying attention to? That is essentially the idea here.

I thought I'd start with the gem above.

Also worth noting is that I decided to change the address and name for this blog, as it was far too long and a little bit pretentious.
the address is now:
====================
-idrawmyself.blogspot.com-
====================
I think it's a fairly accurate description of what goes on here, don't you?

Guess What?

-Facts Of Ash-

So the other day I went on a long, hazardous, Lord Of The Rings style journey to a volcano. The name of the volcano was Bullshit Mountain.

When I reached the summit of Bullshit Mountain, I heard a voice.
It said "Ash, why haven't you been updating your blog?"

"I haven't had any good ideas in a while." I told the voice, while trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

I then began to feel the earth shake and rumble. Suddlenly, Bullshit Mountain erupted violently, and I heard a thunderous reply "BULLSHIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!"

I realised that it was Bullshit Mountain itself was speaking to me.

"All the drawings I've done lately have been pretty shitty.. (yes, shittier than what you usually see here)"

The mountain erupts a second time.
"BULLSHIT!!!!!!",  Bullshit Mountain replied.

"Okay okay okay! I've just been really fucking lazy! I admit it! I'm a lazy lazy balding man!"  I finally confessed to the Mountain.

"Well.." said Bullshit Mountain, "..at least you're honest."

"Should I stop being so lazy and draw more below-average pictures for the internet?" I asked the Mountain.

"That sounds like a pretty, pretty, preeetty good idea." responded the Mountain.

-Guess I'll do some more drawings then?-