Things I've never accomplished: Enjoying Roller Coasters

No. Fuck this. No. Do Not Want. Nononononono.

That is essentially how I feel about roller coasters. There are two things that I do not enjoy. One is heights, the other is high speed. Combine those two elements into one "Fun Ride" where you're locked into place insde a box by a bar, that is then "safety checked" by a bored out of their mind teenager, which I am then powerless to stop or slow down or get the fuck out of until it's over, and you've basically got one of my nightmares made reality.

Featured in this picture are the last three people to convince me to go on a roller coaster with them. We went on this rickety as hell wooden roller coaster that was built around 1920, and it felt like either the entire framing was going to give way beneath us, or we'd simply go flying off the rails at the next corner.

NOT FUN. 

They then got me on another roller coaster, where the sense of imminent death was again with me. For the finale, they got me on one of those fucking rocking Pirate Ships that go way up in the air, again, with only a shitty little metal bar holding you in place. We had to sit right at the back, because apparently that's where the maximum fun factor is on these things. No. No no no no no.

After having to listen to me having an actual panic attack, they then felt guilty. That was three years ago. Now it is just a source of amusement for them.

 -The last roller coaster I was ever on. Luna Park, Melbourne, Australia.-

-The Euthanasia Coaster - by Julijonas Urbonas-

Every single roller coaster on the planet feels like the Euthanasia Coaster. My brain associates them with certain death, regardless of the fact that this has been proved wrong on four seperate occasions.

I am also not a fan of Pirate Ships.

Or Drop Towers.

Or Ferris Wheels.

Bumper Cars. Give me god damn Bumper Cars.

Here's a video that makes me feel ill. start it at 1:07 and you'll start to see why.

-Front Row On The World's Steepest Roller Coaster-